Blue Velvet (1986)

Star Rating: 2
Length of Film: 120 minutes
Director: David Lynch
Cast: Isabella Rossellini, Kyle MacLachlan, Dennis Hopper, Laura Dern, Hope lange, Dean Stockwell, George Dickerson, Priscilla Pointer, Frances Bay, Jack Harvey, Ken Stovitz, Brad Dourif, Jack Nance, J. Michael Hunter, & Dick Green
Oscar Nomination: David Lynch (director)










Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) came back home from college, after his father had a stroke. Jeffrey thought his hometown was "perfect", but found out it is less than what it seems. Jeffrey found a human ear, and decided to take it to Detective John Williams (George Dickerson), where he met and starting hanging out the detectives daughter, Sandy (Laura Dern). She informs him of strange rumors about a lady that lives in this apartment building. The two decide to plot a way to get into her apartment. Jeffrey dresses up as an exterminator, who needs to spray the apartment. His intentions was to open a window, but once inside the apartment, he finds a spare key.

Sandy and Jeffrey go to the Slow Club, where they see Dorothy (Isabella Rossellini) sing. Of course, she was singing the title of the movie, "Blue Velvet". Sandy and Jeffrey decided to go back to her apartment (knowing she was at work). Sandy stayed in the car and told Jeffrey she'd honk 3 times, if she came home early. Drinking at the club, made Jeffrey have to pee. Sandy of course honked, when the toilet was flushing. Jeffrey heard the door opening, and ran into the closet. Dorothy caught Jeffrey, holding a knife threatening him, making him strip all the way down to his boxers, and seduced him.

There was a knock on the door, Dorothy sent Jeffrey back to the closet, and answered the door. It was Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper), a man who kidnapped Dorothy's husband and son and is forcing himself onto Dorothy, sexually. He takes her blue robe, and stuffs the robes strap in her mouth and he pounds in her. He slaps her a few times, and then sucks on some kind of mask.

YOU SEE FULL FRONTAL OF ISABELLA ROSSELLINI: BOOBS AND BUSH

Jeffrey watches, in horror through the closet. Once Frank was done, he left and Dorothy went and pursued sex with Jeffrey.  She asks him to hit her, and refuses then she asks him to leave. He gets up, and then she asks him to stay. Dorothy is a very broken and has been put into this perverted world of being a sex toy, that any man that she's around, she's submissive, and helpless.

The movie is soooo f'd up! Laura Dern is the worst actress ever! Her portrayal was awful! I actually laughed out loud because her facial expression are ridiculous and over the top (especially the scene where Dorothy is beaten and naked and in Sandy's house).


The movie gets more messed up, and I actually can't remember most of it, because so much happened. This movie deserves to be on the list of 1,001 movies you must see before you die because it is not like any other movie that's ever been produced. With the kidnapping, rape, breaking and entering, murder, romance between Sandy and Jeffrey, sex between Dorothy and Jeffrey, what the hell's wrong with Frank, who's ear was removed, plus the mystery of where's Dorothy's husband and son are. This movie is ingrained in my mind because it's memorable. It's not a movie I'll ever watch again, but it's a part of movie cinema history for a reason.

Written on the Wind (1956)

Star Rating: 2
Length of Film: 99 minutes
Director: Douglas Sirk
Cast: Rock Hudson, Lauren Bacall, Robert Stack, Dorothy Malone, Robert J. Wilke, Edward Platt, Harry Shannon, John Larch, Joseph Granby, Roy Glenn, Sam, Maidie Norman, William Schallert, Joanne Jordan
Oscar: Dorothy Malone (actress in support role)
Oscar Nomination: Robert Stack (actor in support role), Victor Young, Sammy Cahn (song)

Rock Hudson

Mitch Wayne (Rock Hudson) and Kyle Hadley (Robert Stack) are best friends. Mitch meets the lovely Lucy Moore (Lauren Bacall), but it stolen right underneath his feet by Kyle, an heir to a big oil company. He flies Lucy to an exotic location, and gives her a suite with a closet filled with clothes, and a vanity filled with make up and perfume. He gives her an hour to get ready, and she ends up leaving, being overwhelmed by Kyle's intensity. He reaches her before she departs. They get married, and Mitch keeps to himself his feelings for Lucy.



Lauren Bacall



Joan Allen. They could be twins! Look at the resemblance.

Kyle's wild and crazy sister, Marylee (Dorothy Malone) enters the pictures. She's the one that picks guys up at the gas station and takes him back to a motel. She's also the one who's been in love with Mitch since childhood. Their initials are engraved in a tree. She's gorgeous, and usually gets what she wants, but with Mitch, she doesn't. It drives her crazy, because she knows Mitch is in love with her sister-in-law, Lucy. Marylee informs her brother that she has noticed a close connection between his best friend and wife. Tells him to keep a lose eye on them.

After their one anniversary, Lucy and Kyle start trying to have a baby, having troubles, they go to the doctor, and Kyle gets bad news, saying that he's the problem, and they'll never be able to conceive. He starts heavily drinking, and Mitch and Lucy have to take care of him. Lucy confides in her husband, searching for what's wrong, and he won't tell her. One evening at dinner, Lucy has news to tell him that she's pregnant. He of course, takes it that she got pregnant from Mitch, and not from him since the doctor told him it wasn't possible.





Shit hits the fan, there's a gun involved, a killing, and a courtroom scene. I will tell you this, the ending reminded me a lot like Casablanca. They loved someone so much, that they let them go, to be happy, even though it's them, who isn't.

There's nothing special about this movies, yes...there's drama, but it's really slow. I wish there would've been more seduction from Marylee, and a little more flirtation between Mitch and Lucy. Robert Stack did a great job being a drunk. Like always, this is just my opinion, you can take it or leave it, and make up your own mind. Happy viewing!!!!





Laura (1944)

Star Rating: 3
Length of Film: 88 minutes
Director: Otto Preminger, Rouben Mamoulian
Cast: Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Clifton Webb, Vincent Price, Judith Anderson, Cy Kendall, Grant Mitchell
Oscar: Joseph LaShelle (photography)
Oscar Nominations: Clifton Webb (actor is support role), Otto Preminger (director), Jay Dratler Samuel Hoffenstein, Elizabeth Reinhardt (screenplay), Lyle r. Wheeler, Leland Fuller, Thomas Little (art direction)





Laura is a Film Noir movie about a New York detective running an investigation on the murder of Laura Hunt (Gene Tierney). Detective Mark McPherson's (Dana Andrews) first individual he questions is newspaper columnist Waldo Lydecker (Clifton Webb) who's a close acquaintance of Laura. McPherson questioned Lydecker while he was the bath (WTF?!). It was really awkward because the bath was in the middle of the room, with a leopard print chair and a retractable desk attached to the bath.

McPherson next questioned Laura's fiancé Shelby Carpenter (Vincent Price), her socialite Aunt who's in love with Shelby, Ann Treadwell (Judith Anderson), and Laura's faithful servant, Bessie (Dorothy Adams). McPherson drills Ann on her bank accounts and specific amounts of money she withdrawn, pointing out that she's been giving Shelby money. McPherson gets a hold of Laura's diaries, and starts reading them in her apartment. Lydecker comes over and insists on getting the things back that he gave to Laura; a grandfather clock, a vase, and a fireplace cover. When he's over there, he notices McPherson is becoming infatuated with Laura. Lydecker says the best quote of the whole movie:

"You'd better watch out, McPherson, or you'll finish up in a psychiatric ward. I doubt they've ever had a patient who fell in love with a corpse. "

After Lydecker left Laura's apartment, and McPherson just staring at her self portrait, reading her belongings, keys jingled in the door, and in walks Laura. Laura was not murdered it was someone else! Laura looks through her closet and notices a dress that's not hers, but belongs to one of her models Diane Redfern, who looks very similar to Laura. Her maid, Bessie miss identified the body. So the real questions comes to, why was Diane in her apartment when Laura was in the country, and who was accompanying her? Especially since no one has a key to her place?


The movie goes back and forth giving you suspects swaying you on who might be the murderer. Laura herself was a suspect, along with Waldo Lydecker, and Shelby Carpenter. I won't tell you the ending, I'll leave that up for surprise, but where they hide the gun, is the best part. Oh...and yes, Laura and McPherson kiss.

A Place in the Sun (1951)

Star Rating: 3
Length of Film: 122 minutes
Director: George Stevens
Cast: Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor, Shelley Winters, Anne Revere, Keefe Brasselle, fred Clark, Raymond Burr, Herbert Heyes, Shepperd Strudwick, freida Inescort, Kathryn Givney, Walter Sande, ted de Corsia, John Ridgely, Lois Chartrand
Oscars: George Stevens (director), michael Wilson, Harry Brown (screenplay), William C. mellor (cinematography BW), Edith Head (costume), William Hornbeck (editing), Franz Waxman (music)
Oscar Nomination: George Stevens (best picture), Montgomery Clift (actor), Shelley Winters (actress)



George Eastman (Montgomery Clift) goes to work with his rich uncle, industrialist Charles Eastman (Herbert Heyes), working in the factory. While working, George meets Alice Tripp (Shelley Winters) and they start dating. Alice rents a room at someone's house, and was uncomfortable inviting him in the house, George being a smooth talker, got himself into her room. Being 1951, we didn't SEE them, but they had a shot of the radio in the window, it being dark outside, and then the same shot, but it being light out.

George attends a party and meets socialite, Angela Vickers (Elizabeth Taylor), they immediately felt an attraction to one another. George starts hanging out with Angela more, and Alice finds a picture of them together in the newspaper. Alice calls George at Angela's house and announces that she's pregnant, and that he HAS to marry her. George makes an excuse to Angela, that a family member is sick, and runs off to meet Alice.

He meets Alice and they head to the courthouse. It ends up being Flag Day, so the offices are not open. They decide to rent a boat and float on the lake. In the back of his mind, he wanted to get rid of Alice. That would solve the whole baby and marriage thing, and he could pursue his relationship, with Angela. George rents a boat, she talks about their future and how happy she is, at that moment, he changes his mind. Alice stands up, rocks the boat, and falls in. Purely accidental, but he doesn't try to save her. He gets back in his car, and drives off to see Angela, and he pretends that nothing ever happened.

Alice's body reappeared, and there was a murder investigation, with George as the main suspect. The end of the movie switches to a courtroom drama, with an ending that is shocking; they just end it. George is walking down a hallway, and in big bold letter, "THE END" shows up on the screen. Viewers, you have to remember, this was set it 1951, they weren't allowed to show certain things.

The movie was enlightening to see what women acted like in the 1950's. Especially a woman who got married out of wedlock. I mean...she turned into demanding bitch. I asked my grandma about it, and she said a lot of women purposefully got pregnant so they'd have to get married, to trap the guy, which I think is AWFUL!

Elizabeth Taylor was flawlessly beautiful. She was only 17 years old when they started filming. Her skin is flawless and you never would've known that she was a teenager. Acting skills was just okay. She didn't have to stretch far to play the "rich girl". If I was Montgomery Clift, I would have passed on this script. Why would he want to choose a role where he had a girlfriend, cheated on her with someone new, knocked one of them up, and then thought about murder? Not the kind of role I'd want to be remembered by. 

   

The Nutty Professor (1963)

Star Rating: 2
Length of Film: 107 minutes
Director: Jerry Lewis
Cast: Jerry Lewis, Stella Stevens, Del Moore, Kathleen Freeman, Med Flory, Norman Alden, Howard Morris, Elvia Allman, Milton Frome, Buddy Lester, Marvin Kaplan, David Landfield, Skip Ward, Julie Parris, Henry Gibson









This will be a quick review because I disliked it. I mean... I like goof ball movies, but there was nothing spectacular about this movie. The transformation from dork to Mr. Smooth was pretty impressive, but other than that, it was just dull and a waste of an hour and 40 minutes.There was only 1 funny part in this movie, and it is when Buddy Love was the The Purple Pit, and he was having a conversation with the bartender.


Buddy:  I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.

Bartender: I never heard of that.                

Buddy: Until now. All right, pay attention. Two shots of vodka.

Bartender: Two shots of vodka. 

Buddy: A little rum.

Bartender: A little rum.

Buddy: Some bitters.

Bartender: Bitters.           

Buddy: And a smidgin of vinegar.

Bartender: And a smidgin of...You gonna drink this or rub it on your chest?

Buddy: Hey, that was terrific. Did you hear that, folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw. Good boy! And he did it all by himself. You did it all by yourself without help. That's terrific. And with your own big mouth. If you don't want the cocktail shaker in your gums, shut up and pay attention. Is that clear? Repeat after me: I'll...

Bartender: I'll...
              
Buddy: I'll pay attention.

Bartender: I'll pay attention.
          
Buddy: All right, let's continue. A shot of vermouth.

Bartender: A shot of vermouth.
         
Buddy: A shot of gin.

Bartender: A little gin.                

Buddy: A little brandy.

Bartender: A little brady.

Buddy: Lemon peel.

Bartender: Lemon peel.

Buddy: Orange peel.

Bartender: Orange peel.
Buddy: Cherry. Some more Scotch.

Bartender: More Scotch.
                  
Buddy: Now, mix it nice, then pour it into a tall glass.

Bartender: I never tried this. Mind if I take a sip?
   
Buddy: Go right ahead.

(Bartender takes a sip, immediately falls to the floor.)                 

Buddy: Not bad.



Professor Julius Kelp (Jerry Lewis) is a complete science dork who gets picked on by his jock students. He sees an article in a newspaper advertising a gym, and decides to "bulk up". The gym didn't work out so he decides to take action and makes this concoction. He decides to experiment and try it on his myself.

He turns into rico suave, and his alter ego, Buddy Love has his eye on student Stella Purdy (Stella Stevens), a girl who's the sterotypical stupid blonde, and they had her wear pig tails with ribbon that match her outfit. But once she's at the club, her hair's down and she's all sexy-fied (which fits with the premise of the movie, she's 2 different people in two different atmospheres).

Buddy Love

 

Body Heat (1981)

Star Rating: 4
Length of Film: 113 minutes
Director: Lawrence Kasdan
Cast: William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, Richard Crenna, Ted Danson, J.A. Preston, Mickey Rourke, Kim Zimmer, Jane Hallaren, Lanna Saunders, Carola McGuinness, Michael Ryan, Larry Marko, Deborah Lucchesi, lynn hallowell, Thom Sharp













Ned Racine (William Hurt) is a lawyer in Florida, where he meets a beautiful married woman Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner). Ned follows Matty outside, because she wanted to get fresh air, and she told him, he could buy her a snowcone. Matty spills the snowcone on her shirt. Matty: Would you get me a paper towel or something? Dip it in some cold water. Ned: Right away. I'll even wipe if off for you. Matty: You don't want to lick it? While he goes to the bathroom, to get a paper towel, she disappears. The next night, he runs into her at a bar. They got on a conversation about wind chimes, and she invites him back to her house. They made love, and they were just laying in bed together. Ned was laying on his back, Matty was laying on her side, facing Ned. She slowly reached under the covers and grabbed his dick. It was hot!

They continue their affair, and Matty expresses how much she loves Ned, and how much she dispises her husband, Edmund (Richard Crenna). Ned brings up the idea that they can murder Edmund and make it look like an accident.

The sex continues and the plan continues to get rid of Edmund. Ned talks to Teddy Lewis (Mickey Rourke), who builds a bomb for them. A blonde woman stands by the gazeebo, Ned approaches and states, Ned: Hey lady, ya wanna fuck? Mary Ann: Gee, I don't know. Maybe. This sure is a friendly town. Mary Ann is a good friend on Matty that shes known since high school.

More sex...more nudity. You see Kathleen Turners boobs and bush.

The night of the murder, Ned breaks into the house, knocks Edmund out, and takes him to an abandoned building that Edmund had once been involved with. They put the bomb in the building, so it looks like arson. This movie was based off the 1944, Film Noir movie Double Idemnity. The music was very sulty... very heavy on the saxophone.

After the successful murder, things get a little tense, and all shit breaks loose! And the ending will SHOCK YOU! I will tell you this, Matty's boathouse gets blown up, someone gets thrown into jail, and someone ends up on a tropical beach, tanning. I really enjoyed this movie. Yes...for all the sex scenes, but also for the big twist in the end. I did not see it coming, and I chuckled in excitement because I couldn't believe what was unfolding right in front of my eyes.